


Chidori is Not an Approved Jutsu for Water Landings (And Wood Style Probably Isn’t Either)

by GordandV



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6163361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GordandV/pseuds/GordandV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or in which Kakashi and Tenzou go out on a two-man mission, things go south, Tenzou gets creative with Wood Style, and Kakashi wants to play a game to pass the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Quality Over Quantity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V is very excited to post another fanfiction! (She finds it very therapeutic to type if she can muster enough energy after being at the kennel). She thinks she's mixed canon and fanon by accident but hopes everyone will enjoy despite that and ignore any silly mistakes.  
> (V also seems to be struggling figuring out how to use A03's notes at the beginning/end of stories. Oh well...)

Chapter 1: Quality Over Quantity

There’s a phrase that goes “quality over quantity.” Substance should beat sheer numbers. Should. Kakashi wonders if “quality over quantity” applies to when his current ANBU team is outnumbered by enemy shinobi on a B-rank mission gone S, because the mission scroll had stated, and Kakashi would like to quote, “no more than ten” in reference to the number of bandits known to be roaming the area. If this is what “ten” is, then Kakashi thinks he and whoever writes those damn mission scrolls in the first place have very different ideas of what “ten” means. Or how to count. It’s more like fifty to one, and Kakashi would like to laugh and say, “I’m overestimating, there weren’t really fifty,” (and he wants to cry because Obito would say fifty and mean five) except that he isn’t overestimating: he and Tenzou had gone body-for-body up to twenty until Tenzou had abandoned his no Wood Style rule on missions and took out an entire row of enemy shinobi in one fell swoop with a pointed wooden limb thrust through a half dozen chest cavities.

Quality over quantity should mean that he and Tenzou should have no trouble taking out the bandits who seem to be a mix of lackluster missing-nin, mercenaries of varying degrees, and general robbers, but for every body that falls, three more seem to take its place. It’s like one of Orochimaru’s mutated snakes: for every head that’s cut off, a number of even worse ones takes its place. Kakashi suspects that the “no more than ten” bandits known to be in the area were probably a smaller sector of the underground criminal network that he and Tenzo have apparently drawn out and are currently neck-deep in. Despite their superior fighting skills, the number of enemy shinobi are overwhelming.

Tenzou takes a kunai to the head and his form puffs out of existence in a haze of white smoke: the man holding the handle of the weapon blinks dumbly at the cartoonish wooden dummy left behind and doesn’t even get the chance to see the paper tag affixed to the back before it detonates. Tenzou’s initial use of his Wood Style had captured the attention of the bandits for all of ten seconds, allowing Kakashi to take out five enemies, before they had wised up and tore their eyes away from the wood sprouting from his teammate’s arm. Kakashi scans the clearing he’s fighting in and then the surrounding wooded area for Tenzou when he doesn’t spot the younger shinobi. There’s no gleeful yelling from the enemy which means Tenzou is alive somewhere and fighting, and Kakashi manages to glimpse his teammate stepping out of a tree in order to take out a man with a single kunai to the neck when the shinobi turns his back and leaves his throat exposed from the side. Tenzou immediately retreats back into the tree once the body drops, spurting blood from a slashed arterial vein, and the remaining opponents, who had been all but milling about, (not enough room to get at Kakashi and no idea where Tenzou had gone), converge on the woods.

Tenzou’s hide and go seek strategy is quickly dealt with: the bandits attack the trees and reduce them to nothing but chopped up logs or upturned plants with their roots sticking out of the dirt. There’s a murmur of approval from the group because surely this means that the little bastard won’t be able to attack them now, not with his hiding places bent out of shape or tipped over, but Tenzou takes cover behind a particularly thick tree and makes a number of hand seals before slapping his black-gloved palm against the trunk. The long roots of the fallen tree, covered in damp dirt, spring to life and begin twisting and turning around the nearest bodies and squeezing and squeezing and squeezing…

Someone sets the forest on fire. Kakashi bends over backwards when a tree limb the size of a temple pillar comes flying through the air and knocks aside the bodies advancing on him. Tenzou appears beside him, breathing hard, and the two quickly shift until their side-to-side.

“What do you call that last move?” Kakashi dares to ask while the two of them slowly back away from the burning woods, across the clearing, and to the cliff that overlooks the river below.

“Silent Strangle.”

“Ah.”

Kakashi is halfway tempted to ask who names Wood Style jutsus since he imagines some must be original to Tenzou, but this is neither the time nor place. The cliff behind them is a deadly drop to the water and too wide to jump across even with unlimited chakra. Kakashi’s already running low and has substituted his signature and equally deadly chidori for weapons and hand-to-hand. Tenzou seems to be equally exhausted judging by his slight list to the side: Kakashi recognizes the odd posture as a telltale sign of too much Wood Style given that it’s Tenzou’s ribs that usually complain once he’s done throwing logs around.

“Should we try and make a run for it?” Kakashi suggests while the bandits regroup: he and Tenzou are cornered but by no means captured, and a simple diversion should give them both more than enough time to break through the wall of bodies, both alive and dead.

Tenzou shakes his head. “There’s a tracker: we wouldn’t get far before we’re back in the same position.”

So they’re _really_ cornered.

Kakashi deflects a shuriken with his bloodied kunai. The metal star goes flying off into the distance and arcs down into the canyon.

“If the fall wouldn’t kill us, I’d suggest we jump,” Kakashi says.

Tenzou turns his head a fraction of an inch. He slides closer to Kakashi until they’re touching and then slowly shifts the hand nearest his teammate behind his back.

“Do you trust me, senpai?”

“Yes.”

Because after a mistaken attempted assassination, second intentional attempted murder, and sneaking into a secret organization to breakout said attempted murderer, there’s nothing but trust to be had.

“I’d rather kill myself than let them have my body!” Tenzou says loud enough to be nothing but intentional while he turns his head and continues to lead both of them back to the edge of the cliff. “I won’t betray the village!” He slips his hand into one of his pouches. “I won’t let you either!”

Kakashi knows to expect something to happen. He waits for a signal from Tenzou.

“Don’t let go of me,” Tenzou whispers when they’re both as close to the drop as they can get.

Kakashi doesn’t need to reply. He grabs a fistful of Tenzou’s vest while his teammate throws a handful of smoke bombs. Once the bombs are in the air, Tenzou flashes through a series of hand seals and then crouches and slams both hands against the ground: Kakashi bends over with him and watches the earth in front of them begin to undulate. The smoke bombs explode and cover the area in white while the ground continues to shake. Tenzou stands up, grabs the back of Kakashi’s best, and then pulls them both back and over the drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V has a good portion of this already typed and minimally edited so updates should come every few days. Kudos and comments help her get into the typing mood after being chewed on by German Shepherds.


	2. Surface Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V doesn't claim to know anything about science and instead substitutes the laws of physics for anime laws of physics, AKA: they don't exist.

Chapter 2: Surface Tension

A variety of weapons soar overhead, some a little too close for comfort, and Tenzou lets go of Kakashi. Kakashi keeps his on grip on his teammate as he stares up at the sky (light blue with wisps with clouds, a perfect day) before turning his attention down to the rapidly approaching water. He knows that falling from this high into water is the same as running into a wall, and he hopes that whatever Tenzou has planned will lessen the impact, otherwise they’re both going to break every bone in their already bruised and battered bodies and rupture every organ they possess. Or drown when they’re knocked out from the impact. Either way, it won’t be pleasant.

They’re already falling feet-first, standard for water landings, and Tenzou is making more hand signs. Much to Kakashi’s surprise, it’s not for any type of water jutsu: it’s Wood Style. He supposes that a beam of wood could theoretically break the surface tension of the water, but there’s still no guarantee of the two of them hitting the right spot in order to not kill themselves. He knows that if either of them weren’t chakra exhausted this wouldn’t be an issue, but they’re both running low, and Kakashi should have never let himself be cornered.

Tenzou braces one of his arms and the entire length turns to wood. The beam stops just beyond where Tenzou’s fingers would have been before the end opens up like and umbrella and then races back toward Tenzou and Kakashi and swallows them both. Kakashi suddenly understands why Tenzou asked him not to let go: Tenzou seems likely to pass out the second his wooden shell is finished, and if the wood breaks on impact, there’s a good chance Tenzou will drown without some type of assistance.

It’s dark and cramped inside the wooden cocoon, and Kakashi can hear wood slamming against wood as Tenzou interlocks pieces. There’s little room to move which means they’re less likely to be bounced around when they hit the water, and Kakashi reaches his free hand up to cover his Sharingan because it’s all but useless now. The relief of not having his chakra drained is instantaneous, and Kakashi gets a better hold on Tenzou.

Impact is rough but not lethal. Kakashi hears wood crack and splinter but no water gushes in from any holes or breaks. He doesn’t think he blacked out, but it’s hard to tell when everything around him is pitch black. Everything remains comfortably dry, and the wooden shell continues to creak and groan.

“Tenzou?” Kakashi asks as he tries to get his feet under himself (nearly impossible given that everything is curved into a perfect circle) while his hand remains fisted in his teammate’s vest. “You alive?”

Judging by Tenzou’s breathing, he’s alive but not awake. There’s no way to tell if he was knocked out from impact or passed out from chakra exhaustion, but alive is good. Very good.

Kakashi swears when the shell hits something (no doubt a rock or the side of the canyon) and he’s knocked off his feet. _Screw_ Tenzou’s faceplate, because the end jabs Kakashi in his eye, and it’s not even his good eye: it’s his damn Sharingan eye which is already throbbing. A few more seconds of bumping around happens until either the river straightens out or deepens: whichever it is, Kakashi is thankful. He rights himself and then hesitates.

For the moment he and Tenzou are safe, but judging by the lack of water inside Tenzou’s wooden cocoon, it is both watertight and airtight. Suffocation is no more desirable than drowning is to Kakashi, and unless Tenzou wakes up soon to remove the shell, Kakashi will have to break it open with force, and therein lies one problem. Chidori (if he could even muster enough chakra) would be ideal to break through, he’s done it before, but water and electricity even in the form of lightning do not mix: there’s a chance that Kakashi would shock himself along with Tenzou. Problem two is what to do once the wooden shield is broken. Kakashi is a strong swimmer and he can only presume Tenzou knows _how_ to swim, (surely that’s a ROOT requirement), but the river is strong, and again, drowning is not on Kakashi’s list of things to do. Neither is attempting to swim while making sure Tenzou doesn’t drown. Swimming in a current is hard enough. Swimming in a current while making sure your unconscious teammate keeps his head above water is doubly hard.

Tenzou moves. Kakashi can feel him squirming and then he hears a string of swear words that he didn’t think the shinobi was capable of making.

“Tenzou?”

A hand connects with Kakashi’s chest and pushes him back as far as possible given the fact that Kakashi hasn’t let go of Tenzou’s vest yet.

“I’m going to be sick,” Tenzou chokes out and then starts breathing hard.

“Why?” is Kakashi’s immediate question, and his mind begins thinking about wounds and poison and-

“I get motion sick in enclosed spaces.”

“You… what?”

Tenzou ignores him. “And can you put my shoulder back into place? I think I dislocated it when we hit the water.”

“Which shoulder?”

“My left.”

Kakashi lets go of Tenzou and then carefully feels around: he freezes and makes a face.

“Tenzou, your arm…”

“I can’t undo the jutsu without both hands,” Tenzou says. “And I can’t move that arm at all.”

Said arm is not really an arm. The entire limb is wood. Kakashi feels up from what he would estimate to be Tenzou’s elbow to his shoulder and finds that the wood stops about midway up his teammate’s arm.

“Definitely dislocated,” Kakashi says. “This might hurt.”

Tenzou merely grunts.

“Do you want me to count?”

“Yes.”

“On three then,” Kakashi says. He steadies Tenzou, hopes that their wobbling shell doesn’t crash into anything, and then moves his hands where they’re needed. “One-”

Tenzou bangs his head against the wood. “I thought you said you would count to three!” he hisses out in pain.

“I lied,” Kakashi replies in a monotone. “You didn’t get a chance to tense. Can you move your arm now?”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Yes, mostly,” Tenzou says with obvious resentment.

“Can you make your hand signs?” Kakashi continues.

Tenzou doesn’t reply.

“Here,” Kakashi offers. He blindly reaches out until he finds Tenzou’s useable hand. “Just get us out of this and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“You sure?”

Kakashi can hear the nausea in Tenzou’s voice. He regains his grip on Tenzou’s vest.

“Yes. Just get us out.”

Tenzou interlocks his fingers with Kakashi and then begins forming signs. Kakashi follows along and the sound of running water grows stronger with every passing second. He and Tenzou knock against a wall when they hit something and a loud crack fills the small space. Water begins filling the shell and Kakashi braces himself.

“I have one layer left to remove,” Tenzou says grimly. Then adds, “I’ll count to three,” in a much lighter tone. “Three!”

Water rushes in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are team hand seals a thing? V can think of exactly two instances where two or more people did joint hand signs, but one of them was in an opening so she's not sure that counts... Yay teamwork!
> 
> Chapter 3 to be posted.


	3. Neat Trick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V is posting earlier than expected since she has to close the kennel tomorrow night.

Chapter 3: Neat Trick

The river is cold but not icy. Luck seems to be on Kakashi and Tenzou’s side because the stretch of waterway they’ve surfaced in is almost calm compared to the rapids they already passed through upstream and the current is strong but not vicious. That, and they’re smack dab in the middle of the river. There’s a choice to be made: either head for the side they came from, or head for the opposite canyon wall. Konoha is about three days away on the opposite side, and the pair are definitely off course from their unexpected detour. They can go back the way they came, most likely encounter more trouble from the bandits left alive on that side, and attempt to make it to the bridge miles and miles upstream where the canyon narrows enough to allow one, or follow along from the other side. The simplest, and most likely safest option, is to make it to the opposite side and simply follow the river upstream until they hit the bridge and continue from there without the risk of running into the bandits, no matter how drastically reduced their numbers are.

Before Kakashi can even ask Tenzou for his opinion as they bob along, Tenzou strikes out for the canyon wall closest to Konoha. Kakashi follows, curious about the almost frantic pace, and hauls himself onto a partially submerged boulder once they’re close enough to the wall that he feels safe letting go of Tenzou. Tenzou gets onto his hands and knees on another fallen piece of rock and bows his head while water laps at his wrists.

“Tenzou, what are you-”

Tenzou holds a hand out in Kakashi’s direction and then coughs.

“Not. One. Word.” Tenzou says once he’s done vomiting.

Kakashi holds both his hands up. “Nothing wrong with feeding the fish. I know someone who gets violently seasick if he so much as looks at a ship.”

The few inches of water covering the rocks is warm from the sun. Tenzou crawls over to the canyon wall and leans against it. He closes his eyes and drapes one arm across his stomach.

“Now what, senpai?” he asks.

“Take a moment to regroup?” Kakashi suggests. “Then get up the cliff.”

It’s a straight ninety degree angle to the top covered in crumbling rock and overgrown patches of plants.

They’re both quiet for a few minutes. Despite their dip in the river, they’re both still bloodied and starting to bruise.

“How’s your shoulder?” Kakashi suddenly remembers.

Tenzou rolls it and then flexes his fingers. “Sore but useable. Better than before.”

“Still nauseous?”

“Not really.”

“Good.”

Kakashi moves to Tenzou’s rock and then presses his hand against the cliff wall. Tezou keeps his eyes closed.

“Should we just walk up and hope neither of us run out of chakra halfway?” Kakashi says.

Tenzou opens his eyes and tilts his head back. His eyes dart back and forth before stopping.

“There’s no point in both of us wasting chakra,” Tenzou replies before slowly getting to his feet.

“Should I carry you or the other way around?”

Tenzou doesn’t answer. He brushes his hands against his wet pants and then holds one up in front of his face. Kakashi watches with interest as Tenzou presses both hands against the rock wall with one covering a brown vine from the vegetation dotting the cliff. The vine begins to squirm and a ripple slowly rises up the cliff. No, not the cliff… the vines. A few stretch a down a few more feet until Kakashi can make out a clear path.

Tenzou drops both hands and staggers back with a huff. He nearly steps off the boulder into the river but Kakashi grabs the front of his vest and hauls him back toward the cliff. Water splashes as Tenzou sits down heavily and crosses his wrists, forming an X above his legs.

“That’s it,” he pants. “I’m out of chakra.” Tenzou looks up. “None of the vines should snap or break away from the cliff now.”

“That’s a neat trick,” Kakashi says. “Can you still climb up by yourself?”

Tenzou fixes a look at Kakashi from beneath his face plate that could pass as offended. “I’m out of chakra, not out of commission.”

“Still… Why don’t you go first, just in case?”

“Just in case what?”

Kakashi shrugs. “Just in case. I think I’ve proven that I’m good at not letting go. If you fall, I’ll just drag you the rest of the way up.”

Tenzou raises an eyebrow.

“Captain’s orders.”

“Yes, sir.”

There’s entirely too much irritation in Tenzou’s voice for his response to be anything but sarcastic, but given the day he’s had, Kakashi supposes Tenzou can get a free pass on showing proper respect to superiors. That, and Tenzou usually does show proper respect for superiors. And those lower ranking than himself. And even assholes: Tenzou had been downright _civil_ to Danzo when he had left ROOT.

As promised, the vines are sturdy and easy to reach. Progress is slower than Kakashi expects, but Tenzou seems to be avoiding using his left arm as much as possible and seems to be having trouble stretching. Still, slow progress is better than no progress at all. The edge of the cliff gets closer and closer every passing minute until Tenzou is hauling himself up and over the edge. Kakashi follows and rolls over onto his back to stare up at the sky as he shakes his hands and arms out.

“Tenzou, I know you’re exhausted, but is there any way you could…”

Kakashi doesn’t want to finish his sentence, but Tenzou already seems to know what he wants. Still belly down on the sundried grass, Tenzou turns around and then reaches a hand out to the nearest vine. He doesn’t bother making any hand signs. He just taps the plant, (more like slaps it in exhaustion), and then it begins to slither and shift. The trail up is immediately erased and no one would ever be wiser as to where the two shinobi climbed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 to be posted.


	4. Wet Paper Bombs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slow chapter today, but as the saying goes, it's the calm before the storm.

Chapter 4: Wet Paper Bombs

It doesn’t take long for relief to turn to discomfort. Despite the warm weather, it’s no fun running around in wet gear. That, and something is likely to chafe: Kakashi and Tenzou are already cut and bruised, there’s no need to add rubbed raw to their list of physical ailments.

Kakashi sits up once he’s caught his breath and finds Tenzou still laid out on the yellowed grass. Tenzou’s not even toeing the line of seriously detrimental chakra exhaustion: he’s kicking at it rather determinedly. They’re still three days out from Konoha and while Kakashi would like to be an optimist and say they’ll make it home in one piece without any further problems, the realist in him knows that things can go from bad (current position) to worse in seconds.

“Let’s rest for a few hours,” Kakashi says. “Take stock of what’s soaking wet and useless before moving out.”

Tenzou raises one arm and offers a thumbs up. He rolls over a few minutes later and then forces himself to sit up. Kakashi’s already taken off his vest and bracers and laid them out to dry. He’s emptying his pack and sorting items by usefulness. Some wet paper bombs can be salvaged if they dry right, but others have ink smeared across the front and are too far gone to be anything but an explosion hazard. Kakashi rips these in half and then tears them again for good measure.

Tenzou removes his bracers and then pulls his gloves off. He reaches for the back of his head with a wince and begins picking at the knot there. Kakashi stops sorting and stares.

“What?” Tenzou snaps once the knot is undone and his faceplate is sitting in his hands.

“I didn’t know that came off,” Kakashi remarks.

Tenzou makes a face. He sets it side and then pulls out a black elastic band from one of his pouches.

“I didn’t know you understood the concept of tying your hair back,” Kakashi continues while Tenzou struggles to pull his wet hair into a ponytail.

“It gets in my face if I don’t have that on,” Tenzou says with a glance at the faceplate. “And are you going to keep making comments about me or should I start my own commentary on you?”

Kakashi remains silent after that and decides not to tell Tenzou that he forgot to take his vest off. Tenzou sorts through his own packs and then curls up under the nearest tree when Kakashi offers to take first watch: the powers that be know Tenzou needs a powernap or five.

There’s nothing to report when Kakashi wakes Tenzou up some odd hours later. Tenzou looks slightly revived and immediately perches himself on a tree branch so that Kakashi can sleep. There’s still a few hours of daylight to burn when the ANBU captain wakes up, and the two shinobi gear up before heading upstream.

“Let’s play a game,” Kakashi says when the sun starts to set.

“Why?” Tenzou asks: he sounds incredibly tired.

“I’m bored. It’ll help pass the time and keep us awake.”

“Let’s play The Quiet Game.”

“Hahaha.” Kakashi looks over his shoulder. “We could play ‘I Spy.’”

“No.”

“Twenty questions?”

“No.”

“Do you have any interesting talents?” Kakashi asks.

“Aside from spontaneously turning my limbs into trees?”

“Aside from that.”

“I don’t know.” Tenzou sighs. “I can name every bone in the human body. Does that count as a talent?”

Kakashi wants to ask “why” because he’s met medical shinobi who can rattle off bones and organs and ligaments like there’s no tomorrow, but Tenzou has never shown any interest in the healing arts. There’s a chance that Tenzou’s knowledge hasn’t been a voluntary effort: knowing ROOT, the phrase “I’ll break every bone in your body” probably takes on a whole new meaning when said shinobi can do that and name the bone.

“Sure,” Kakashi says instead. “I once fractured my navicular and cuboid bones, but I still don’t know what that means.”

“They’re little bones in your foot,” Tenzou explains. “What happened?”

“I jumped out of a tree to avoid being decapitated.”

“And what happened to the person trying to decapitate you?”

“I broke her femur and some other bones. And then _she_ got decapitated.”

The night is warm and thankfully uneventful. Kakashi slows his pace when Tenzou starts to lag and then stops short and turns around.

“You already said cervical curvature,” Kakashi reminds.

“I did?”

“C-one to C-seven, above the thoracic curvature, T-one to T-twelve.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually paying attention.” There’s a note of pride in Tenzou’s fatigued voice.

They continue on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V was going to have Tenzou's talent be recognizing and naming plants with big long science words (because Wood Style), but when she was cleaning, she found all her old Anatomy and Physiology books. Gone are the days where V could remember every bone/area of the skull and practiced with Gord in fast food restaurants, because doesn't every normal person do that? Once finals were over, all that knowledge went out of her head. But she remembers being able to tell two similar bones apart depending on whether or not it looked like a giraffe head or moose head. Science.
> 
> Chapter 5 to follow in a few days.


	5. Make Haste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes the conflict.

Chapter 5: Make Haste

“Senpai, can we stop? Just for a few minutes?”

The sun is just starting to lighten the sky. Kakashi bites backs a retort that they just finished a fifteen minute break not even a half hour ago and at this rate they’re going to be going backwards, but snapping at his teammate won’t make anyone feel better. Tenzou is probably just as sore and cranky as he is.

They’re moving as fast as they can without chakra-enhanced reflexes, and without any pressing reason to make haste, it’s almost nice being able to take their time for the return trip to Konoha. Still, Kakashi is looking forward to making it back to the familiar gates sometime before his fiftieth birthday which is about when they’ll be arriving if they keep stopping.

“Let’s keep going.” Kakashi tries to sound less irritable and more encouraging, but he’s not sure he succeeds. “Just for a few more hours.”

Not even fifteen minutes pass before Tenzou is repeating his question. Kakashi stops and turns around because his already thin patience is frayed and about to snap, and Tenzou _has_ to know that Kakashi is going to say no, that it hasn’t even been an hour since they last stopped, but Kakashi opens his mouth and then closes it.

The forest they’re walking in is densely packed with trees. Enough sunlight is now filtering through the branches to see clearly, and this is not good. Extremely not good. Kakashi would even go so far as to say bad.

Tenzou is about ten paces or so behind Kakashi, zigzagging left and right and bumping up against trees with his shoulders. He’s bent over slightly with one arm braced about his middle. He leans up against one tree for support and then slides down to the ground, back to the trunk, and removes his arm. Now Kakashi can see a red stain on Tenzou’s vest that had not been there before and Tenzou leans his head back against the tree and hisses when he presses his hand against the blood coloring his side. Hard. Like he’s trying to put pressure on it.

“When?” Kakashi demands as he jogs over and kneels down.

“When we jumped off the cliff,” Tenzou replies quietly. “Someone had better aim than I thought.”

Kakashi frowns because he’s not oblivious. “Why didn’t I notice?”

“It caught me under the vest.” Tenzou grits his teeth. “The cold water stopped the bleeding for a little while. When I took my watch and you went to sleep, I bandaged it. It only just started bleeding through.”

Which doesn’t explain why Tenzou didn’t tell Kakashi he was injured in the first place, but that question can wait.

“Let me see.”

It’s rule number one of emergency medical aid: don’t peek. Just keep pressure on the wound and don’t remove any bandages to see if the bleeding has stopped. But given that Tenzou hasn’t trusted Kakashi enough to tell him about whatever wound he has in the first place, Kakashi doesn’t trust Tenzou enough to be truthful about how bad it is.

On a scale of not bad, could be worse, and bad, the wound is between not bad and could be worse. The location could be worse, every little movement will tug at the cleanly sliced skin, but there’s no bone or organ poking out above Tenzou’s hip. It’s not overly deep but deep enough for skin, fat, and muscle to be cut clean through. Kakashi recovers the wound with the bloody bandages and then hurriedly digs through his own pack for more.

“It could be worse,” Kakashi says with an inward sigh of relief. “I should sit on you,” he threatens once the new dressings are in place. “Until the bleeding stops.” He pushes a little harder than necessary and Tenzou flinches in pain.

And while Tenzou looks like absolute crap and he’s gone two shades paler than normal, the wound seems clean (aside from bloody) and Tenzou doesn’t seem to be feverish.

“I’m sorry,” Tenzou offers a few minutes later once the silence has turned cold. “For not telling you, senpai. I knew you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. I didn’t want you to worry.”

Now Kakashi’s twice as worried as he would have been if Tenzou had just told him in the first place, but Tenzou’s right: there’s nothing he could have done. Except maybe slap some more bandages on sooner.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Kakashi says which is as much as an, “it’s alright, I forgive you,” that Tenzou will get.

Ten minutes pass. Then fifteen. And twenty. Kakashi lets up on the pressure and finds a few splotches of red soaking through the new layers. He frowns and looks at Tenzou: he’s leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes but his teeth are clenched.

“Better?” Tenzou asks.

“A little,” Kakashi replies before putting pressure back on. “It’s still bleeding.”

“Still?” Tenzou sounds confused.

Blades coated in anticoagulants are always a possibility, but a dip in the river shoulder have washed any mixture away. There shouldn’t have even been enough time for anything of that nature to absorb.

“Hold it,” Kakashi instructs before reaching for Tenzou’s hands and placing them over the bandages.

Tenzou sputters when Kakashi pushes.

“Hard,” Kakashi says.

The slash could be worse, but the amount of blood is worrisome. Even after twenty solid minutes of pressure, the bleeding isn’t slowing like Kakashi would like.

“This _will_ hurt.” Kakashi holds up a small bottle filled with yellow powder from his pack. “Antihemorrhagic agent. It’ll sting.”

Tenzou nods.

“When I count to three, move all the bandages.”

“Are you actually going to count to three?” Tenzou asks with a lopsided smile.

“This time, yes. On three. One, two, three.”

Tenzou digs his heels into the ground. “Bird! Horse! Snake!”

“Did you just swear using hand seals?”

Tenzou bangs his head against the tree. “That stings!”

“Good,” Kakashi says while he replaces the bandages. “That means it’s working.”

There’s nothing more that either of them can do. Kakashi wraps a long strip of dressing around Tenzou’s waist to keep the other bandages in place and ties it a little tighter than necessary. He tugs down Tenzou’s shirt and vest and waits for Tenzou’s ragged breathing to even out.

“I don’t need that digging into me,” Kakshi says with a pointed look at his teammate’s faceplate. “Off.”

Tenzou does so and then fumbles his hair into a ponytail. Kakashi crouches and turns around.

“Do I have to carry you?” Tenzou asks once he’s settled comfortably on Kakashi’s back.

“Next mission,” Kakashi promises. “You’ll have to piggyback me the entire time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V has no idea what human styptic powder looks like, but her dog has some and it's yellow.
> 
> Chapter 6 to follow in a few days.


	6. Heavy Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Chapter 6: Heavy Enough

Although Tenzou isn’t exactly heavy to begin with, he’s heavy enough. Kakashi stops after a few hours and gives Tenzou the option of walking for a bit so Kakashi can stretch his arms. Tenzou agrees.

“You weren’t going to drop me, were you?” Tenzou asks suspiciously while Kakashi shakes his arms out.

“Of course not! How could you even think such a thing?”

Tenzou shrugs.

In order to make sure Tenzou doesn’t get accidentally dropped, Kakashi lets him alternate between piggybacking and walking for an hour or so. Progress is still slow but steady. There’s no fresh blood staining Tenzou’s bandages and whatever had been wet is now rust colored and darkening to black. The path home seems to be smooth. Until noon.

Konoha is less than three days away, or so Kakashi would think, but who calculates days and hours from a destination? Is it civilian speed or shinobi-in-a-hurry-for-a-mission speed? If he and Tenzou picked up the pace and lit a fire under their feet they could be home in a day and a half, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

Tenzou starts running a fever around noon. At first it’s nothing serious, just a little extra warmth, and on the one hand Kakashi is thankful that Tenzou’s body is attempting to fight off whatever infection is brewing, but on the other, there’s no guarantee Tenzou will win. By mid-afternoon, Tenzou’s sweating. By late afternoon, Tenzou has a case of the chills and is bordering on deliriousness from the fever. He buries his hot face against Kakashi’s neck and begins to mumble when his teeth aren’t chattering together. Despite the layers separating Kakashi and Tenzou, Kakashi can feel the heat from Tenzou’s side.

Kakashi stops just before sunset when there’s just enough light to see by. He eases Tenzou against a tree and sits him down. Tenzou is dozing, eyes closed, but is still muttering under his breath. Kakashi can’t make any sense of what his teammate is saying, although he does catch the name “Yukimi” more than once. Tenzou’s hair is falling out of his ponytail and stray strands are stuck to his sweaty forehead. He’s red in the face and breathing hard.

Tenzou continues to mumble before abruptly sitting up straight and opening his eyes. He blinks and then frowns.

“Why’d we stop?” he asks in bewilderment.

Kakashi is thankful that Tenzou is still capable of lucid moments.

“My arms were cramping,” Kakashi replies. “I needed to put you down for a minute.”

“Should I get up?”

“No.”

Tenzou might be willing to walk for a bit, but Kakashi knows he’s not physically able to: the laceration is too close to Tenzou’s hip to make standing, let alone walking, anything but unbearable now that the wound is definitely infected and everything surrounding it is probably swollen. That, and Kakashi is afraid that if Tenzou stumbles and twists the wrong way, he’s going to open whatever scab has formed and the wound will start bleeding all over again and Kakashi won’t be able to stop it, not even with more antihemorrhagic powder.

Kakashi puts his back against the tree and slides down beside Tenzou. The sky is quickly darkening and stars are starting to appear.

“Tenzou, do you think I’m cursed?”

Tenzou leans against Kakashi’s arm and settles his head on Kakashi’s shoulder. It’s not fair for Kakashi to be asking philosophical questions when Tenzou’s brain is going haywire, but it’s too late to take it back.

“We’re in ANBU, senpai, we’re all cursed.” Tenzou is entirely too hot but the warmth isn’t entirely unwelcome. “But not you, senpai, you’re not cursed.”

“ _I’m_ not cursed?” Kakashi is genuinely surprised by Tenzou’s remark.

“Of course not.” Tenzou sounds like he has half a mind to fall asleep right there. Or pass out.

“How am I not cursed?” Kakashi presses.

Kakashi can feel Tenzou begin to shiver again. It only lasts a few moments.

“You can’t be cursed because you saved me,” Tenzou explains slowly. “If you were cursed, how could you have done that?”

“I… saved you?”

Isn’t that a novel idea, Friend-Killer Kakashi saving a friend instead of killing one. Wouldn’t Konoha get a kick out of that.

“Of course you saved me,” Tenzou says, and the smile is obvious in his voice. “When I tried to kill Lord Third, well, you, you spared my life. And when I tried to kill you again for your Sharingan, you decided to tie me up instead of kill me.” Tenzou seems to be enjoying recalling all of his meetings with Kakashi which oddly enough seem to begin and end with them fighting and Tenzou trying to kill Kakashi. “And then you broke into ROOT to break me out.” Tenzou lets out a little laugh. “If you were cursed, how could you have done that? You pulled one over Lord Danzo! No one does that. Ever. You might be the first person to do that.”

It’s an interesting perspective. There’s nothing wrong about it, and Kakashi finds it hard to believe that Tenzou is right.

“I suppose,” is all Kakashi says before turning his head slightly. “Are you saying all this to make me feel better or because you’re delirious?”

Tenzou takes a moment before replying. He wipes his forehead with the back of his bracer.

“I don’t know. Both?”

Both is good: Tenzou is lucid enough to be making sense but feverish enough that the entire exchange will most likely be nothing but a vague blur in a few hours. And even if it isn’t, it’s not like Kakashi is asking Tenzou his deepest darkest secrets.

“We should keep moving.” Kakashi carefully leans Tenzou’s head against the tree before getting up and stretching. “You’re only getting worse. I don’t want your brain entirely fried by the time we get home.”

“Home?”

“Yes, home. You know, Konoha?” Kakashi says.

Tenzou sighs. “I don’t even think I’m _from_ Konoha,” he says as he climbs back onto Kakashi. “I don’t know where I’m from.”

Kakashi bounces Tenzou once to get a better hold on him. “Well, you’re from Konoha now. A shinobi of Konoha.”

“ANBU,” Tenzou adds.

Kakashi heads out into the darkness. “Wood Style user.”

“Bone teacher.”

They continue their word association well into the night. Tenzou drops off into an uneasy doze sometime around midnight despite the fever. Kakashi is both relieved and worried: Tenzou is far too restless for his sleep to be restful, but at least he’s semi-oblivious to the pain for a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V is going to make an attempt to post the next chapter on Thursday, but the kennel is getting busy and there's just not enough people to get the work done.


	7. As Long as Needed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 7: As Long as Needed

 “We’re almost there, Tenzou,” Kakashi says. “Just a few more hours.”

Tenzou doesn’t reply. He’s deadweight on Kakashi’s aching back, hot and heavy and sweating like it’s the middle of summer during a heatwave. His head is slumped over Kakashi’s shoulder and lolls slightly with every step his captain takes. Despite this, Kakashi isn’t any more worried than he has been: the fever seems to have lowered slightly but spread across Tenzou’s body as far as it can reach, and while it’s still incredibly high, it doesn’t seem to be high enough to be dangerous.

Exhaustion seems to be a more likely reason for his teammate’s current unintended nap, and Kakashi is more worried about fever dreams and unintentional Wood Style. He’s heard of shinobi accidentally using jutsus and activating kekkei genkai in their sleep, and if Tenzou spontaneously decides to turn any part of his body into a tree with or without pointy ends, Kakashi is in trouble.

Tenzou turns his head and sighs. “Senpai, are we there yet?” he suddenly asks against Kakashi’s neck.

“Almost.”

“Where’s Yukimi?”

Kakashi hesitates before answering: this is definitely the fever talking, and there’s no point in upsetting Tenzou.

“Waiting for us,” Kakashi replies.

“Where?”

“At home.”

“Oh.” Tenzou tightens his arms around Kakashi’s shoulders. “You don’t need to lie for me, senpai. I know she’s not waiting for us at home.”

Kakashi winces inwardly.

“I know she’s playing hide and seek in the trees. I keep seeing her, but she doesn’t stay still.”

Hallucinations. Fantastic. At least the trees are now becoming more and more familiar.

“Tenzou, do you remember when you said I wasn’t cursed?” Kakashi asks.

“Mhm?”

“That’s what I thought.” Kakashi stops and then looks around: he heads for the nearest dead tree and pauses just outside it. “Let me put you down for a minute, Tenzou.”

Tenzou is all but limp and doesn’t fight Kakashi when he settles him inside the rotted out tree trunk.

“Tenzou, pay attention to me for a second.”

“I am,” Tenzou protests quietly.

“No, really pay attention to me. Focus.”

Kakashi taps Tenzou’s face and then pours half of their water over Tenzou’s head. The cold is enough to snap Tenzou out of whatever feverish stupor he’s in. Tenzou’s lax face immediately turns to surprise and then anger. He blinks up at Kakashi, eyes bright, and frowns while he tries to push his wet hair back from his face.

“What did you do that for?” Tenzou demands angrily.

“Focus, Tenzou.”

“I was until you poured water on me!”

Kakashi lets Tenzou fume for a few more seconds before he calms down.

“You need to stay here,” Kakashi says. “I’m going to scout ahead.”

Tenzou finishes pulling his hair back and pulls a face. “I thought we were almost to Konoha? Why do you need to scout now?”

“I thought I felt the presence of other people not too far ahead. I just want to make sure they’re friendly.” Because honestly, Tenzou, you’re starting to get heavy, and I don’t want to have to take a detour or fight if we don’t have to.

“Why can’t I come?”

“Because if they’re not friendly, you’ll only slow me down.”

Kakashi knows it’s a hard truth and no one likes to be told that they’re pulling someone down, but he’d rather have Tenzou’s feelings hurt than one of them be mortally wounded.

“Only scout,” Tenzou says firmly. “If they’re enemy-”

Which is unlikely so close to Konoha’s border.

“Come back. We can just circle around them and avoid a fight.”

Kakashi nods. “Only if your promise to stay here.”

Tenzou nods. Kakashi hesitates.

“If I’m not back within the hour, can you make it back by yourself?”

Tenzou has the audacity to roll his eyes. “It’s not like I’ll have a choice, senpai.”

“That’s insubordination.”

“That’s sass.”

Kakashi is back within half an hour.

“Change of plans,” Kakashi says loudly enough to badly startle Tenzou from his doze. “They’re foe. Thieves. I only counted five of them. They’re planning on ambushing a caravan that’s supposed to arrive in Konoha today.”

Which means there isn’t enough time to detour around and make it back to Konoha in time to sound the alarm.

“This close to the border?” Tenzou asks while he tries to sit up further.

Kakashi looks around. “We’re just outside the patrol border. The only shinobi out this far should be those going out or returning from a mission.”

“Of course.” Tenzou sounds just as thrilled as Kakashi feels.

“I’m going to take them out before the caravan gets here,” Kakashi says.

“We.”

“We?”

Tenzou nods. “We’re going to take them out.”

“Tenzou-”

“You don’t know if they’re just common thieves or shinobi,” Tenzou interrupts. He starts to get up. “You can’t just attack them without backup, even with the element of surprise. One of them might be dangerous.”

There are guidelines and suggestions for when shinobi should attack despite being outnumbered, but the bottom line usually comes down to skill set. Currently, the odds are not in Kalashi’s favor: he’s outnumbered, has no information about any foes’ abilities or fighting patterns, and is already run down from his previous encounter with the bandits. Despite his slightly recovered chakra levels, he’s low on weapons, and as Tenzou already pointed out, he doesn’t have any backup in case things go south.

“You can’t even stand up,” Kakashi says just as Tenzou claws his way up the inside of the tree and gets to his feet.

“You were saying?”

Tenzou is vertical but he’s swaying on the spot, weight consciously or unconsciously being placed on his uninjured hip and leg, left arm held awkwardly to the side because it’s probably still sore from being dislocated. He’s semi-alert, blinking far too much in an effort to remain focused and shaking his head a bit to try and clear the fuzziness from the fever. His hair is still damp from the water Kakashi dumped on him earlier although sweat is starting to bead on his flushed face.

“You’re up now,” Kakashi says. “But for how long?”

Kakashi knows that adrenaline is playing a huge role in his teammate’s sudden miraculous recovery: Tenzou is anticipating a battle and no matter how battered his body is, it’s going to try and prepare itself. However, once the battle is done, Kakashi knows Tenzou is going to drop and be down for the count.

“You’re not going alone, senpai. It’s too dangerous.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Kakashi says. “How long are you going to stay up?”

Tenzou merely blinks. “As long as needed.”

“And if your body decides otherwise?”

Tenzou remains stubbornly silent. Kakashi points a finger at Tenzou because they’re wasting precious time: there’s only so much time before the thieves make their move and only so much time until Tenzou’s adrenaline stops pumping.

“You can come, but as backup only. You do not get involved unless I tell you to. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

Tenzou is stiff but shakes off any outward sign of pain while Kakashi leans over and begins drawing in the dirt with his finger.

“There’s good cover here and here,” Kakashi explains. “You’ll hide there and keep an eye out. I’ll attack from here.”

Tenzou shakes his head and moves his foot: he can’t bend over to point. “You’ll be too open to a counterattack from these two.”

“Do you have any suggestions then?” It’s meant to be a jab, but Tenzou suddenly smiles.

“I’ve had an idea I’ve been meaning to tell you about, senpai.”

“And you want to try it out now?” Kakashi asks. “Without any practice and when we’re both not up to our usual standards?”

Tenzou nods eagerly. Kakashi gets up from his crouch and reaches out to feel Tenzou’s forehead despite the glove on his hand.

“And was this an idea you had before or after you jumped off the cliff?”

Tenzou bats at Kakashi’s hand. “Before!” He sounds deeply offended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has V said thank you for all the kudos and comments yet? THANK YOU! They make V's day.
> 
> A slow chapter today, but everything is now set up for chapter 8 which is the longest and packed with more action. V expects to post again on Sunday.


	8. Dig Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V is posting early due to the holiday tomorrow. (Happy Easter!) She realized she won't have time to post tomorrow before heading to the kennel, so she should post the next chapter before she goes to bed.

Chapter 8: Dig Deep

The element of surprise is always a good advantage to have. Even if the would-be thieves aren’t necessarily surprised, Kakashi hopes that confusion and shock will play a role.

“Don’t fall out of the tree,” Kakashi says with more of a hiss than he means to put in the words, but Tenzou doesn’t seem to mind.

He’s straddling a tree limb and has his back braced against the trunk, legs wrapped firmly around the bark. They’re not all that high off the ground, but Kakashi doubts Tenzou’s ability to right himself and land safely if he tips sideways.

“Why are we doing this if you can’t even do it from the ground?” Kakashi continues, because now he’s having serious second thoughts about this not even half-baked plan: it’s still raw and not even mixed. Kakashi isn’t even sure they have all the needed ingredients.

“It’ll only work if we have the higher ground,” Tenzou explains in a whisper. “Do you have any idea how hard it is twisting trees? It’s easier if I have a straight shot.”

“Right.”

“Ready?” Tenzou asks before raising his hands.

Kakashi reaches out and grabs them. “Wait.”

Tenzou lets his hands drop. Kakashi stands up from his crouch.

“Uh, senpai, what are you… Senpai, what… no!”

“Stop squirming!”

“Senpai!”

Tenzou looks miserably up at Kakashi once Kakashi is done wrestling his own vest over Tenzou’s.

“I can’t breathe,” Tenzou says, because while his captain’s vest is only a few inches longer than his own, it’s not much bigger, and the double-layer of protective material is constrictive.

“Good.”

“Why?”

“Because yours is covered in blood.”

“That’s not a good reas-”

“Make with the hand seals, Tenzou. That’s an order.”

Tenzou glowers for a moment before clapping his hands together and then stretching one arm out. A thick, sturdy limb shoots out and heads straight for where the thieves are gathered, right above their heads and Kakashi’s. Kakashi jogs to the end of the branch, waits for Tenzou’s jutsu to turn the wood under him into a springboard, and then manages a half flip in the air. One foot connects with Tenzou’s moving limb, then the other, and Kakashi sticks.

If all goes well, everyone on the ground will be distracted by the tree suddenly soaring overhead and won’t have time to react to Kakashi by the time he comes into view, upside-down, weaving lightning. It should be over before it even begins.

Tenzou hears the chirp of Chidori and keeps the branch steady. There are a few short cries which are quickly cut off followed by a warning shout from Kakashi. Tenzou abandons his jutsu, not bothering to pull the wood back into his arm, and instead simply flicks his arm and wrist: the massive limb falls with a crash as it knocks into other branches and trees below. Tenzou loosens his grip about the tree with his legs and tips sideways. He feels the sharp sting of wind against his cheek and then the trunk he had been leaning against milliseconds ago has a foot long gash in it that is easily two feet deep.

There’s still electricity crackling around Kakashi’s hand as he avoids being crushed by Tenzou’s tree when it falls from the sky. Five bloodied bodies, now covered by the limb, are slumped and crushed together and a sixth stands between Kakashi and Tenzou. The seventh is already after Tenzou. Kakashi doesn’t know where the last two people came from, but it doesn’t matter: Tenzou is no longer under Kakashi’s backup-only order.

“What’s the rush?” the sixth thief asks Kakashi with a sly smile. “No need to rush on over there. Stay here for a minute and let’s talk.”

Tenzou clings to the underside of the tree using only his legs in order to keep his hands free. His cheek feels raw and stings as sweat drips and makes contact with the exposed skin. He doesn’t know what type of jutsu tore apart the tree and each guess is as good as the next: wind, sound, water, or some other unusual forth thing. Or a kekkei genkai. It doesn’t even matter. All the blood is rushing to Tenzou’s already fuzzy head and he can’t think straight. He’s going to pass out if he stays like this any longer.

Tenzou lets go with his legs, lands mostly in a crouch, tries to get up, and blacks out for a few seconds. He stumbles sideways, nearly goes horizontal, and almost careens headfirst into the nearest tree. There are still black spots dancing in front of his eyes so he can’t see, but Tenzou can hear trees being ripped apart and can feel stray woodchips hitting him. None of the pieces are big enough or fast enough to hurt, but Tenzou knows it’s just a matter of time before he either gets nailed with debris or the jutsu. Kekkei genkai. The thing. He’s not thinking straight.

“Stay still!” Tenzou hears someone shout in an absolute rage.

Everything’s still dark and Tenzou can only hope that whatever luck he has lasts for a few more seconds. He pushes himself away from the tree he nearly head-butted and allows himself to stagger in whichever direction his body feels inclined to: if he doesn’t even know which way he’s headed, there’s no way his attacker can predict it. As long as he can avoid getting hit until his vision clears, Tenzou thinks he has a chance. And where did Kakashi go?

“Let’s let our friends play for a moment,” Thief Number Six taunts as she and Kakashi square off.

Kakashi takes one step to the side and she mirrors him: she’s buying time, purposefully keeping him separated from Tenzou and Thief Number Seven until Tenzou can be subdued. There are explosions going off just beyond where Kakashi can see and he can hear trees cracking. Tenzou’s putting up some kind of fight but he won’t last long in the shape he’s in.

“Why don’t we play?” the woman suggests. “You already played with my other friends.”

Kakashi knows he can’t muster enough chakra for another Chidori, but he hopes his hand-to-hand will be good enough to at least delay Number Six and pass her by. Tenzou is top priority followed by taking out Number Seven who seems to be wielding some type of troublesome ability.

Kakashi throws his last three kunai straight at the woman and then chases after them. The first two force the woman against a tree and she dodges them with ease. The third, with a paper bomb attached, lodges itself in the tree trunk right above her head. Kakashi doesn’t want to fight, he just needs a distraction, and he detonates the tag and rushes past with just enough room to disturb the outermost layer of smoke and sparks.

“Not so fast!”

There’s a hand on his ankle faster than Kakashi can think. He doesn’t know how Number Six escaped the paper bomb but it doesn’t matter how because she has. He’s pulled off his feet and tossed through the air like a ragdoll away from Tenzou and Number Seven. His opponent hasn’t used any type of chakra-based attacks yet which means she isn’t likely to: good. Kakashi manages to twist his body in the air in order to land feet-first against a wide trunk, immediately spraining one of his ankles in the process from his awkward landing, and uses his position to further deplete his already low chakra reserves as he forces his feet to stick to the bark. The woman rushes at him, short sword in her hand, aiming for his heart, more to the left of his body than the right. Kakashi waits until the last second before launching himself at her.

They’re both moving too fast for either of them to change position. They’re dedicated in their flightpaths. The woman is aiming to ram Kakashi right through his heart and pin him to the tree. Kakashi is aiming to slip past her and counterattack. He shifts minutely just before he loses contact with the tree and the sword sails harmlessly past his side, under his arm, and lodges itself deeply in the bark. Kakashi all but leaps over the woman, twists in the air, and buries a handful of shuriken into the back of her exposed head. When she doesn’t puff out of existence or dissolve into water or mud or any other material, Kakashi rushes forward: he’ll confirm the kill later, but for the moment, he doesn’t need to worry about Number Six popping up and interfering. He needs to get to Tenzou.

Trees are still shaking and being ripped apart which is a good sign that Tenzou is alive and kicking in some fashion. Kakashi bursts through a number of bushes and pauses. Most of the trees are down leaving very little cover, but the number of wooden half-domes littering the area and missing chunks out of them or blown to bits to surprises him. Kakashi has seen Tenzou create the wooden shells firsthand, and he can’t even begin to fathom where Tenzou got the chakra to make all these. Kakashi knows shinobi can dig deep when they’re desperate, but this is beyond what he thought his teammate was capable of. Speaking of…

Kakashi sees Thief Number Seven blasting apart another dome partially covered by two standing trees at the edge of the destruction. The wood holds for a few seconds before a crack rents the air and then the shell begins to split. The trees tip over when their trunks are sliced too deeply to bare the weight, and Tenzou darts out from behind his shield just before another attack reduces it to nothing but woodchips. He skids to a halt when another blast of wind flies in front of him, and Tenzou quickly faces his attacker and drops into a crouch and presses his hands to the ground. Even from a distance, Kakashi can see that his hands are shaking. Even so, another dome begins to obediently rise up out of the dirt just in time to block another attack. The wood splinters but holds. Tenzou is forced to move when a second blast cracks open the shell.

Tenzou all but staggers away from the attack. He drops to his knees, fumbles his hands through a series of seals, and then almost falls forward when he touches the ground with his palms. Kakashi is moving before he even knows it because Tenzou’s new shield is nothing but a thick wall of wood that rises just above Tenzou’s head before abruptly stopping and sinking a few inches. Tenzou bends over and covers his head with his arms when the next blast slams against his shield. The top portion of it flies off and Tenzou slowly raises his head to look over the edge. His attacker is grinning, far too immersed in their cat and mouse game to see anything except that Tenzou has no place to take cover anymore. Thief Number Seven strides forward and is almost on top of Tenzou when he stops.

Kakashi is running as fast as he can, last two shuriken in his hand, ankle screaming in protest, but he’s too far, too late, and Number Seven is too close, too fast. There’s no last words, no smart quips. Just a quick number of hand seals and one final blast.

“The hell?”

Woodchips are still flying in the air. Kakashi can just make out one of Tenzou’s wooden dummies sliced in half at Number Seven’s feet. The real Tenzou steps out of one of the least damaged domes as the tag attached the dummy explodes. It’s not much as far as explosions go, but it’s enough of a distraction for Tenzou to close the distance before himself and Number Seven before there’s a kunai buried in the man’s neck. He falls down and doesn’t get back up. Kakashi slows to a jog, too relieved and stunned for words, and Tenzou stumbles back a few feet to get away from the body before crumpling to his knees and then onto his side.

He’s breathing hard and fast and Kakashi knows that Tenzou’s heart rate is through the roof. Kakashi leans over his teammate, words of praise of his lips, but they die immediately. Tenzou’s grey and there’s a sheen on the side of his pants. Kakashi forces his own vest up and then begins swearing because the entire side of Tenzou’s vest is soaked with blood: there’s more than enough to start dripping down Tenzou’s leg but not enough to saturate the second vest.

Adrenaline is quickly fading from Tenzou’s wrecked and compromised system, leaving him with even less that he started with. He’s struggling to remain awake, eyes fluttering and hands clenching and unclenching because his already overworked heart is trying to pump blood that just isn’t there. Deadly chakra exhaustion hasn’t even occurred to Kakashi because it seems more likely that Tenzou is slowly and steadily bleeding to death.

Kakashi’s still swearing as he goes to his pack and then remembers he and Tenzou are both out of bandages. His hands freeze in midair for a moment before going to his thigh because he’s not wasting precious time going through the thieves’ possessions in the hopes that someone has a fully stocked med kit. He all but throws the holster away and begins unbinding the length of white cloth there before wrapping it around Tenzou’s waist, around the two useless vests that have done nothing but hide the wound instead of prevent it or protect it.

Kakashi doesn’t apologize as he pulls the strip of cloth as tight as he can until his arm muscles burn. He hopes that the vests will act as a substitute bandage and put pressure on the blood vessels that just won’t stop bleeding. He’s sure the cloth is going to rip before he gets the reaction he wants, but Tenzou suddenly gasps in pain and arches off the ground. Pain is good. A reaction is good. That means Tenzou is still alive and can still feel. Kakashi knows that the cloth is entirely too tight and he’s likely to start killing off parts of Tenzou from lack of circulation, (hopefully the infected bits), but he’d rather Tenzou be a little lopsided than dead.

“Just Chidori the damn thing,” Tenzou suddenly bites out between desperate gasps. “Burn the vessels closed. You can’t make it much worse.”

Kakashi simply shakes his head as he starts to knot the cloth because Tenzou is thinking rationally for the moment but not far enough ahead.

“The shock would kill you.”

“Then put me in a genjustsu.”

“That won’t keep your body from going into shock. You’d never wake up. Breathe in and hold it.”

Tenzou does. Kakashi fumbles with his knot and then pulls until veins jump out in his arms. Tenzou manages a few seconds of suffering silence before letting out a strangled scream.

“How does that feel?” Kakashi asks because all that’s holding Tenzou together is a knot. One knot. It’ll have to last to Konoha. “Tenzou?”

Tenzou’s out but he’s still breathing hard. Kakashi hopes it’s just because of pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters are short, but V hopes everyone will stick around for the conclusion. V borrowed Kakashi and Tenzou's move from Blood Prison. Surely something like that needs a serious test run before being put into practical use.
> 
> And V had a question: she has another misadventure in ANBU fanfiction already typed out, although Kakashi is the one who gets the short end of the stick this time around. She had fun typing it, but isn't quite sure if she should post it. Would anyone be interested?
> 
> Second to last chapter should be posted Thursday morning.


	9. Be Damned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today, but the end is in sight!

Chapter 9: Be Damned

Despite the destruction from the fight, Kakashi and Tenzou are still too far out for a patrol to find them. Even by accident.

Kakashi needs to make it back to Konoha before Tenzou bleeds out, make an immediate report that the “no more than ten” bandits were some type of massive criminal network and while it’s mostly been taken out, there’s going to need to be some type of follow-up, and alert border patrol to widen their area since a caravan was almost attacked. Oh, and he needs to make it back without any chakra on an ankle that may be more than sprained. But if Tenzou can dig deep and keep himself alive despite a laceration, infection, high fever, and chakra exhaustion, then Kakashi can certainly do all the above.

Kakashi will kill himself before he lets Tenzou die just hours outside of Konoha. They’re too close to fail.

As luck would have it, Kakashi doesn’t run into any patrols or other shinobi until he’s limping up the Konoha’s front gates. There’s no one to send ahead for immediate help, and protocols and regulations be damned, Kakashi does not have the time to replace his and Tenzou’s ANBU masks or get any type of identification out. Tenzou’s still clinging to life, but he’s hot and cold in all the wrong places and Kakashi can feel his already snapped temper begin to boil over when the guards step forward and order him to stop in the laziest and most condescending tone he’s ever heard. They must be new.

“Could be fake ANBU,” one guard says to another. “Not too hard to get a tattoo and mask. It’d be a good disguise since no one questions ANBU.”

Kakashi wants to scream. He leans against the outer wall to take some weight off his ankle because he’s not doing this. No. He’s made it back to Konoha in time. Tenzou’s still alive. He will not be denied entry home just because some new guards decided to abuse their authority.

“Just call for a medic,” Kakashi says instead. Pleads. “Take him and I’ll answer whatever you want. One of you could even go with him. But you have to take him.”

There’s protocol for unidentified shinobi in need of medical assistance. Apparently protocol has been thrown out the window by everyone because the guards continue to bicker. Tenzou shivers and then goes still. Too still. Kakashi stands up straight, lets go of Tenzou with one hand, and then lifts the headband covering his left eye, because regulations and common courtesy be damned.

“Hey!” he barks, and proper social interaction demands that the guards turn to Kakashi and look him in the eye. Big mistake.

Kakashi can already hear Tenzou’s amusement which will be framed as disapproval: senpai, you can’t use your Sharingan on other Konoha shinobi! But at this point, Kakashi is going to Chidori the next person who gets in his way. Protocol be damned. Regulations be damned. Consequences be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V is going to a convention this weekend and isn't quite sure when she'll be back home, so the final chapter will have an unknown post date. (On the bright side, V gets to cosplay ANBU Tenzou and has a matching ANBU Kakashi and Itachi to join her!)


	10. On the Mend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V is back from her convention and is exhausted! She had a fantastic weekend with her Itachi and Kakashi, but she'll be wearing Tenzou's eyeliner for a week since it won't all come off...
> 
> And here's the final chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter 10: On the Mend

The only plus side about being confined to Konoha’s hospital rather than his room is that Kakashi is allowed to limp around to his heart’s content. (Although he’s not supposed to be walking around per say: apparently the doctors and nurses suggest rest for Kakashi’s badly sprained ankle, although Kakashi think it’s fair if he decides where he wants to rest it.) Once he figures out the nurses’ rotation, it’s easy to slip into Tenzou’s room and close the door behind himself.

Tenzou’s propped up in bed and seems to be dozing. Kakashi approaches with caution because he doesn’t want to startle his teammate, but a quick glance at the various colorful IV bags suggests that Tenzou isn’t quite dozing.

“Tenzou,” Kakashi asks quietly. “Are you awake?”

“Mhmmmm.” Tenzou nods and nearly topples forward from the motion.

“Are you… high?”

“… maybe?” Tenzou doesn’t sound certain but judging by the smile on his face, he’s definitely feeling nothing but good.

Kakashi pulls up a chair beside Tenzou’s bed, puts his feet on top of the covers, and looks over his teammate.

“How do you feel?” Kakashi asks with caution.

Tenzou downright giggles. “Good. Very, very good.”

He certainly looks better: he’s still a bit pale but there’s color back in his skin that has nothing to do with a fever. There’s a chart hanging on Tenzou’s bed and Kakashi makes sure Tenzou’s eyes are still closed before picking it up and flipping through the pages. If the shorthand notes are anything to go by, Tenzou’s on the mend. Restricted to bedrest, but definitely on the mend. Emergency aid, successful. Surgery, successful. Patient outlook, very good. Kakashi replaces the chart and then ever so gently nudges Tenzou with his foot.

“Aside from enjoying your pain medication a bit too much, how are you? How’s your side?”

Tenzou nods again. “Good.” He begins to laugh as he carefully prods just above his hip. “I don’t even feel anything.”

Kakashi hurriedly reaches over and grabs Tenzou’s hand before he can damage whatever is hidden beneath the lump of bandages covered by Tenzou’s loose shirt.

“You shouldn’t poke,” Kakashi says firmly. “Don’t touch it.”

“Right.” Tenzou nods again and this time he does start to tip forward.

Kakashi puts a hand against his chest and pushes him back against the mound of pillows. Tenzou snorts.

“Tenzou, are you sure you’re alright? You seem a little… off.”

This is apparently the worst thing Kakashi could have said: Tenzou starts laughing uncontrollably until he’s crying and Kakashi joins in because it’s nice to laugh after a near-death mission when the team is recuperating in the same room, alive and well. But Kakashi doesn’t know what set Tenzou off.

It takes some time before Tenzou is calm enough to talk without choking or breaking out into a new fit of giggles. He wipes his eyes and then beckons Kakashi closer. Kakashi does his best to lean over.

“Senpai, I’m off,” Tenzou whispers like it’s some big, hysterical secret, and this is going to make great blackmail one day, because Tenzou is high on pain meds and he’s probably going to say something unremarkable and think it’s the most hysterical thing in the world. “I’m off, senpai. And so are you.”

“I’m off?” Kakashi repeats.

Tenzou nods and then points at Kakashi’s face with a smile. “You have a Sharingan and you’re not an Uchiha, and I have Wood style and no one has that! We’re off!”

Tenzou starts laughing all over again and Kakashi can’t help but shrug because sure the two of them are a bit unusual, sure, but it’s nothing to get hysterical over. Tenzou laughs himself all the way into a nap and Kakashi simply pulls out a book he borrowed from the hospital’s library: he hopes Tenzou’s good mood lasts once he wakes up again.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact about the author: V is so sensitive to laughing gas that she needs to be driven home from the dentist. Gord, on the other hand, is immune to laughing gas and Vicodin.
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments! V is super happy that others enjoyed her fanfiction.
> 
> And speaking of fanfiction, V is planning on posting another one in the coming days. Kakashi gets the short end of the stick this time around. Be on the look out!


End file.
